The list of names I’ve been called is legion. And it grows by the day, hehe.

While I haven’t quite added the ones the Bozo recently sent me to the list, the list of ANIMALS is an interesting one.

Bull. Cow. Then as Sophia said “You strong as a gorilla!”

“Like a Gorilla, Big and Strong!” 

And given the “Da Xing Xing” the Chinese refer to me as, well, gorilla is safely on the list.

Ape (yours truly). Ape like workouts (yours truly). Ape like long limbs (yours truly)

So ape is on the list too.

Chameleon (again, yours truly). Another one on that list!

I suspect that if we add “elephant” to the list which I’ve been called too (not for being fat by the way – there is a reason I mention the ELEPHANT on the Battletank Shoulders page) . . . we’d have quite the Noah’s ark, as there are no doubt other animals I’ve been likened to.

The only one I’ve ever likened the Bozo to is “skunk” because he, quite truly and literally “stinks”. And given his “get to know the person’s butt better than the person himself or herself (yes, he swings both ways)” , that perhaps isn’t surprising. Plus he drinks engine oil regularly, so I’ve been told (bai jiu – i.e. traditional Chinese liqor which is just “unfeasibly awful” – – belive me, I’ve tried it – – I love all liqor, but vodka straight and engine oil I’ll stay away from!).

Sly Stallone’s competitor in Over the Top did of course guzzle a can or so of it down!

Before then losing the arm wrassling match to Sly.

But anyway, you should learn from me – well, I think we’ve covered all those reasons PLENTY of times, no?

If not, read the past dispatches.

But one of the other reasons is this, my friend.

Because training like an ANIMAL – indeed, like Noah’s Ark – which is one of the workouts I give you in Animal Kingdom Workouts – is one of the secret keys to superhuman strength, fitness and endurance. 

Most people complain “it’s too easy”.

Or, “its childish”.

Or, “I can do that”.

Or, I did that when I was young.

Or other such B.S.

OK, great.

But what about NOW?

Let me tell you this my friend – most IRONMEN would fail miserably at some of the workouts I lay out in the book for you.

And thats precisely why YOU, the average “Joe” should pick up a copy of your book – if you want to turn into a super stud fitness wise all by your lonesome at home, and if there is ONE book I could tell you to pick up in that regard – it would be Animal Kingdom Workouts.

Really, my friend.

If there was a “awe inspiringly BRUTAL” book I’ve ever written (not my words – customer feedback! – I’ll write more on that later) … THIS is it.

Get this now, my friend.

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – Again, the link is right HERE. Let’s do this NOW.

At the outset, I’ll say this.

This is NOT a “PG” rated blog, much like Bozo “backside perfume worshipper” Glyn Schofield in the UK might want it to be, so we won’t even go “there”. Hehe.

Glyn’s mind no doubt is . . .

But the funny part about this one -I don’t know if I wrote about this before, but she originally said I was a “cow”.

What did she mean?

Well, she was trying to get my daughter to eat veggies (from what I hear / remember, at least).

And one of the ways she was doing it?

Don;t worry, she told my daughter.

“Papa will eat more veggies than you!”

So she said, and she also giggled about “Papa turning into a cow” at the same time.

Which is hilarious, because in China, the one country where people mistakenly assume people eat nothing but veggies, MEAT is what is consumed the MOST.

Especially pork, which in the West is considered to be one of the unhealthier meats you can eat . . .

But anyway, she corrected herself later from what I heard.

“Nah. He’s a bull!” she giggled, and she giggled in “that” way.

I heard her say it, so I know!

But anyway, as I look at pictures of cows serenely grazing on grass where I’m at, I tell you the following.

Eating your veggies is a damn good thing.

But there are those that over do it and because fructarains or vegetarians to an extreme, which is NOT good.

Sure, the latter option has plenty of protein as well. Lentils for one, and perhaps spinach etc to a degree.

That brings to mind what Bozo Schofield said about Gorilla Grip – TIPS! , a book he left a review on – a two word rant, that I haven’t addressed as yet.

But will not.

“Unfeasibly awful”. 

(This email was originally going to be titled “why you should buy books from Tom Tom’s that write unfeasibly awful books”, hehe) 

And the next day, I made not one, not two, but five sales for the book. Hehe.

Then he left the review about “Tom Toms” on the book on (advanced book on) pull-ups and ranted in a girly manner about how “Rahul is a stud, and I wanted to be like him”, and only Bozo Scho the IDIOT par excellence knows what else.

I’ll give to the Bozo though, ass licking is an area where the Bozo has NO competition, myself included. Hehe.

But anyway, sometimes learning from “Tom Toms” that write unfeasibly awful books is good – because guess what.

Those books are what get results, and are hence roundly trolled etc.

Those books are also the ones people WANT the most.

Will do ANYTHING to get.

And they sell the most.

Yes, I outsell most of the Bozos out there that write “easy” books that molly coddle and mamsy pamsy their way into “helping you get fit”.

I just crack the whip my friend – and I tell you to GET HER DONE!

And the doers KNOW THIS.

But anyway, meat is a damn good thing to have my friend.

MEAT is an essential part of our diet, I’ll even go so far as to say that!

I won’t say you can’t make any gains without it, but grazing on greens all day will turn you into a placid COW, my friend.

Trust me on this one.

MEAT done RIGHT (and no I dont mean “JFC” as we called KFC back in the day either) is really what gives you that T-boost we all need (especially Bozo Schofields, but they willingly take estrogen and wear pink underwear, so …) . . . along with the right workouts.

Tearaway Brahma Bull is what comes to mind, eh, when you think BULL?

And to develop that sort of EYE POPPING, RAMPAGING STRENGTH – this is the course that will DO IT for YOU, my friend. Battle Tank Shoulders!

Jump on this NOW (oh, and if you have not got Shoulders like Boulders! first, then get it FIRST, and then the book above).

I’ll see you!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – Another course that will give you the RAW animal like FEROCIOUS vitality, VIM AND VIGOR we all want is Animal Kingdom Workouts – a course you MUST grab NOW. Quit putting it off, my friend. Grab this NOW.

In the 1978 James Hadley Chase classic “Consider yourself dead” – a book I rate highly, and even above my all time favorite “Believe this, you’ll believe anything!” (or actually, I’d say the first book IS my favorite, along with “The Vulture is a patient bird”)  . . .the “hero” of the story is Jack Frost,  a war veteran – a tall, broad shouldered strapping individual – black belt in judo – imposing physique – ex cop – the works!

And a tough cookie to be honest.

James Hadley Chase has so many great books I’m not sure which one to classify as my favorite, but if I had to choose one?

“Consider yourself dead” would be it, and “Grandi” would be my favorite tycoon that the man has written of (ahead even of the ape like beefy “Vidal” in book #2 mentioned up there).

No, for the Bozos reading this, I dont get anything by mentioning Chase here. Yet another case of giving credit where it’s due – – both to the Bozos – – and the TRUE GREATS.

Many people have said exactly the same thing about my books i.e. choosing the one THEY like the most?

Is a tough one?

But they DID make the choice, but anyway, in the book “Consider yourself dead”, basically the plot is that Frost gets hired at a cushy “bodyguard” job along with another tough ex cop to protect Grandi’s 18 year old daughter with mental problems and hot pants (and more of the former than the latter apparently) – and then  a bunch of thugs show up along with a hot girl, and persuade Frost to be the inside man in a kidnapping attempt which ultimately goes awry as the girl does the kibosh on all of them and runs away.

Frost and the rest of his accomplices never really got along.

He’s a loner.

My sorta guy!

And the already tenous relationship breaks up completely when Grandi makes a deal with Frost to bring his daughter back alive, and he’d get a million or something dollars.

Less than the kidnapping loot, but still a LOT.

Anyway, I dont remember the exact amounts etc, but this pisses “Silk” – one of the thugs, and an expert rifleman – off.

He gets a fat Bozo – one of his accomplices to “scare” Frost.

Apparently their modus operandi was to first “scare” the victim mentally such that he’d be looking over his shoulder every time he stepped out – and ultimately that fear would do more to off him than any shot from “Silk” would.

“Silk would eventually get you, you know. He’s a professional!” remarked the fat man ‘sadly” as he attempted to scare Frost.

Frost laughed in his face so raucously you might have thought he was getting drunk at a party.

“Who the *** do you think you’re trying to scare, punk!” he snarls. “Go back to that one eyed fink and tell him I dont scare!”

Later on, they try and find out where Frost is holed up, and they do.

And Frost gets tipped off that they tried to find out, and did find out (a rather silly attempt) – and doesnt just get angry.

He goes AFTER that.

He doesnt sit and wait for them to come to him.

He goes AFTER THEM!

And we see Silk shaking his head in frustration.

“It’s all gone wrong!”

“Frost never scared!”

Anyway, the ending of the book is a Grandi special which I won’t reveal here.

But in a curious Universe like way, James Hadley Chase gets it spot on.

Anyway, the Bozo might well have read this book when he sent me his inane and laughable emails of “Stay safe fugly because I will eff you up” and other nonsensical rants of “Chuck and I are coming to you!”

By all means, my dear Bozo, just bring enough beer, hehe.

But anyway, he sent me other inane stuff, but his crowning glory was the bender he went on on the night of Sep 22, 2020, when he left all the reviews on Amazon that I’m still making moolah off.

Hehe.

Truly manna from heaven is Bozo “Cuckold on public welfare” Glyn Schofield . . .

Yes, my reaction was similar to Frost’s reaction upon reading his nonsense.

I dont just “defend”.

Attack BACK x 10000! 

(Bozo thought I’d roll over like his other troll victims who are themselves starting to now give it back to him – good on ’em).

Anyway, we’ve been over that many times.

Point being, handstands …

The thought of getting into a freestanding handstand, believe it or not, SCARES many people.

And the thought of “kicking over” does too.

Which is precisely, and yet another reason I teach handstands the way I do – NO-ONE, I repeat NO-ONE out there teacher them the way I do – not to mention my way works the shoulders and lats a heck of a lot better, and it’s the right way to work up to freestanding.

Everyone wants to do freestanding handstand pushups.

But precious few people take the right steps in the right order to do so.

First, you LEARN how to do the basic handstand, and do workouts that way.

Second, you get DAMNED good at it – so good that you’re better than MOST people at it “0.1% of the population can even DO those workouts!”

And third, you PROGRESS to freestanding the right way – again with a wall.

And this, more than anything, my friend, is what I teach you in my latest course on handstands – Profound Handstands.   (i.e two of the exercises in this course are the IDEAL way to progress into freestanding).

Truly one for the ages, and the next in line is freestanding handstands.

And then, PUSHUPS in that position.

There’s always room to improve!

Grab the course above if you’re truly looking to ace handstands and get to super elite level – – you’ll love it!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – And remember two things.

One, the DISCOUNT on the compilation will end tomorrow. No exceptions, no ifs, no buts, no maybes.

(I better not speak of “buts”. Bozo be watching, hehe).

PS #2 – Animal Kingdom Workouts is my best course ever overall – if you ain’t got it as yet – do so NOW, my friend.

Back in the day, Uncle Bob once made the following comment when I told him about what I had done with Ann Lee that past weekend (well, he made the comment on a Sunday evening I believe).

“4 Am in the morning? What is your girlfriend, a female monk??”

It was funny, the way he said it.

But that, my friend, was indeed a weekend (or a Saturday) for the ages.

Plenty of “doing the rounds” (that was how Uncle Bob put it – his own weekend was “nothing as interesting” he said – with his then wife getting upset about something and sleeping on the couch and he “got to watch Home Alone again for the nth time, yippee”).

Anyway . . .

I woke up at 530 AM on a Saturday morning.

Had to go to Hong Kong to deposit a few wads of cash, which I did. Those were the days I did a full time job, so the company car picked me up sharp at 615, dropped me off at the border – I did my thang – enjoyed an ice cold beer (two) and a fantastic burger at Dan Ryans (old style diner back then in HK) – and then loped on back to the mainland.

To China.

Yes, China lovers and Chinese, we all know Hong Kong is a part of china.

There’s never a shred of doubt on that one (although whether China has followed the agreement it made with the UK to let Hong Kong’s systems stand until 2035 is another story – but to be fair – SOME amount of that is warranted on China’s part – most? NOT).

I’ve always found it strange though how the Chinese throw a hissy fit when I say “I returned to China” instead of saying “the mainland”.

I mean, theres an international border there for a GOOD REASON, eh?

Anyway . . .

So got back around 1, did the company car back home.

Met up with Ann around 4, climbed the mountain twice I believe. Soaked in sweat – those were the pre-fitness days, remember.

Then we hung around the park, and I believe ended up in some restaurant or the other drinking beer and eating dinner.

Somewhere down the line Ann decided that was the night she “didnt want to go home” and didnt want me to go home either (we were not living together at the time – it was the second date I believe).

Ok, so we didnt.

Evening turned into night.

We ended up at “walking street” – which in those days meant tons of outdoor BBQ and cold beer, and whats more it was near my old office (the last job).

I had to show her the old office, of course, which was in a hotel, so off we went, I was pretty tipsy by then.

Around 9, we “sat down” at the BBQ.

Several hours later, it was 3 AM, and I think I had gotten through the better of 16 24 oz beer bottles. Ann wasn’t far behind either.

And as the ladies of the night trundled home, giggling away at the foreign devil (I knew some of them, and tried not to show it) – – Ann piped up.

… This was in response to me getting my last beer from the BBQ guy.

“You should have told ME! I’d have gotten it for you!”

(She was actually upset I “asked” for the beer and didnt let her do it for me)

Now, thats my type of gal and Charles, years later (the friend) was to say “If your girlfriend used to pound beers with you, I wonder why you left her”.

Well, I dont know. Thats a long story actually!

I think it all started after I snuck off to one lady of the night too many … the impressive Aa Ling, and much MORE.

(and not answering Ann’s phone. Now that was dumb on my part. I locked the damned thing away in a cupboard, because, well, who could bother with phones when …)

Anyway, went back home. Woke up the next morning at 12.

Had a date with “Angel” on that same damn mountain .

“Lawd” only knows how I made it up and down that damned thing in that frame of mine, but I managed it, and upon seeing a photo of myself that “Angel” took, I recoiled – and then laughed.

Looked like something the cat brought in for sure, hehe.

That was probably the longest night I spent drinking, climbing, and more of the same …

And that sort of thing never happened to that extent again, but to varying extents it did.

Staying in shape might be hard , you imagine with that sort of lifestyle, burning the candle at ALL ends.

Well, when your young … you get away with a lot.

But I got away with a lot of it at age 37 too, when I figured out the secret key to losing oodles of weight WHILE on that sort of a lifestyle.

Note though, I do NOT recommend that sort of thing long term.

BUt sometimes, for periods it happens.

It happened with me, and I know it happened quite a bit!

But anyway, the tips and tricks I used to stay in shape EVEN while partying it up every night?

Well, they’re right Here – – Advanced Hill Training, a course guaranteed to blow the SOCKS off ya.

An oldie, but goodie. In the middle it was called “Eat More – Weigh Less“, but that attracted a lot of Bozos to the course, so I renamed it so it seems more exclusive, and attracts less Bozos.

I’d rather ONE serious customer to 100 lookie lous and price wankers.

And there it is, my friend.

And there’s a reason Ann Lee is mentioned on the page!

Hurry and grab this one before the price goes up, up, and UP on it.

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – ONE more day remaining for the 20% discount on compilations – jump NOW if you’re interested my friend. (and if you’re truly interested in fitness, you SHOULD be, and WILL Take action NOW if you have not already).

PS #2 – This is yet another one of those recollections that will be there in the book on fitness recollections (vol #2). Pick up Volume #1 HERE.

And yes it WILL make “gorilla out of man” as it were, and “believer out of Bozo” as it were.

But anyway, Charles Mitchell, a long term customer of mine had the following (amongst other things) to say about Battletank Shoulders! 

I dont see how anyone can do these workouts unless they’re at least part gorilla!

(and, then he said they are truly great workouts for EVERYONE to aspire to – he does!)

Then he bought Pushup Central, and although his favorite pushup is the handstand pushup, he rates the workouts in Pushup Central as some of the toughest he’s ever done – and well – what can I say.

He is right!

This morning,I was getting done with a super tough workout on pushups – and some advanced handstands I have never taught before.

And indeed, it’s been an idea for a while (months now, actually) to put a BOOK out on them (the super tough handstands that you haven’t seen until now, and won’t see anywhere else – Google, internet, wherever – search away, but NO-one teaches them like the bodyweight exercise GURU Rahul Mookerjee, truly the Stella Artois of Fitness does!).

It’s been an idea for a long long time.

This morning, I was pondering starting the book (well, it’s already done – a lot of it – but the “final draft”, I mean) on Lumberjack Fitness, which is the next one sometime next month, and a very eagerly anticipated book.

But then, feeling PROFOUND as I was, I paused!

And I had another one of those ideas – on the spur of the moment, and I listened to my GUT, and there in – another great course was – IS – born!

Profound “70% Gorilla 30% human” handstands. 

And the name is what it is because really, these workouts and movement are SO advanced that they are tough for even yours truly.

I can do them in high reps, sure.

But they’re tough as heck!

And they will make GORILLAS out of real men – provided you’re a real man, of course.

Now, remember, this is NOT a “Starter” level course.

If you don’t know how to do handstands, get Shoulders like Boulders! first.

Then go on ahead and get Battletank Shoulders!

And then, and only then get THIS course.

It’s so tough it’s not even included in the compilation, because most people are not ready for it, and guess what – I – am just – getting STARTED!

Those of you on this list are into super tough workouts, eh.

Well, you’re going to LOVE this one.

Get this now … and let me know how it went!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – This course is NOT for wusses, pansies, Mama’s boys, or idiots that want Sly Stallone’s make up artist to take the pictures. If thats you save your money. I only want REAL serious folks getting this – folks that understand the importance, value and RIGOR of REAL MAN TRAINING!

Man, what an innings that was!

If I just called it brutal I wouldn’t be doing it justice!

True, it was played on what Tony Greig would have called a “humdinger” of  a pitch which made the target of 330 something the Poms were chasing in Pune, I believe, in India if I’ve got it right (I was watching the telecast online) look positively pedestrian at the outset, more like 290-300 and anyone with any knowledge of cricket knows that sort of total is easily chased down thes edays for the most part.

It wasn’t a couple of days ago though on the same ground where England despite a positively blistering, ROARING, pirate like start somehow managed to flounder at the end in their chase of 313.

But they didnt collapse so much as flounder, but THIS time?

My word.

They positively ground the Indian attack into the dust, and took ’em to the cleaners, and along with the pirate like “beefcake” Jonny Bairstow and “suave” Jason Roy – it was Stokes the BARNSTORMER that really stormed the party and took the game by the scruff of the neck – and up, up, and away!

Some of those windmilling 6’s he pounded – my word!

At one point I predicted he was going to hit three in a row.

Sure enough, the next over he did.

Then I briefly thought of 6 6’s in a row.

Didnt happen, thankfully for India. Hehe. But the match itself finished with around 10 overs to spare – a thorough licking – and I’m sure Virat and team are licking their own chops as well at the prospect of the third ODI (they’ve been known to barnstorm on occasion too, though not quite as BRUTALLY as this!).

Anyway, Ben Stokes is a phenom to say the least.

My sort of guy.

6’4″ inches I believe, wiry and tall, “steel and whalebone” sort of strength that I keep emphasizing, and that punch proof abdomen I keep talking about!

(I have no idea if he actually has the last, but going by the barroom brawl he’s been involved with former Army guys, no slouches themselves I’d think – I’d bet he knows how to throw a good punch and then some!).

But those ARMS are why I’m writing to you about him!

Much like yours truly “ape” he’s got those lonnnnnng levers, and he windmills them to great effect!

He doesn’t come across as a massive man mountain like Matthew Hayden did. (and he is!).

(respect!)

But the force and power he generates is just brutal, and other than Kevin Pietersen back in the day (who was more timing than POWER) – I haven’t seen anyone else hit it quite that hard! (other than Hayden, Lance “muscleman Zulu” Klusener and a couple of others).

That last person Klusener, and the comment I made reminds me of what a certain Andy (a girl) said when she was promoting the book on pull-ups “Pull-ups – from DUD to STUD within a matter of WEEKS!”

“Learn from this muscle man”, was what she said on WeShat!

And so they did, but back to Ben Barnstorming Stokes.

He LARRUPS the ball.

And he does so in a windmill like motion with long arm loosely “spinning” if you get my drift that sends the ball into orbit where “no man has gone before” if you get my drift.

What an innings!

I know next to nothing about Stokesy other than the charity he quietly did in India (interesting how people never talk about that, preferring to focus on the negative) and his batting – and bowling (as an Aussie commentator once said “we dont car eabout much else other than what you can do with a BAT and BALL in hand”).

But I’ll bet he can do pull-ups, and do ’em well …

Now, lessons to be learnt here?

One it’s not the tight and “grunting Bozo like gym look” that gives you real strength and power.

It comes from the inside out.

The looser your limbs are, like an apes for instance – the MORE POWER you’ll generate – especially if you’ve got a rock solid core.

Let me tell you, an ape swinging it’s limbs can generate some SERIOUS power, my friend.

And if that ape took your little finger in it’s – a baby ape – you’d scream Uncle within no time.

Stokes looks to have that kind of strength, and that kind of strength is what YOU can build with my course on pull-ups – – and the course on ISOMETRICS – – both of which should be done TOGETHER.

As Panourgias, a long time customer told me the other day.

“The Rolls and Isometrics together are my favorites”.

That is the key.

Work the muscles into the ground, and then relax and gain strength and flexibility at the same time with the isometrics.

And last, but not least, another FORGOTTEN key?

Is training with Indian clubs, my friend.

Let me tell you something, I did a workout with them yesterday in preparation for Lumberjack Fitness, and I was blown away by a) how good they made my shoulders feel – – and b) how they worked me to the BONE.

You might think 3 kgs is nothing, but believe me, when you first start with these, ONE kg is enough!

(for most people – I used 8 kg, and will work with 10 soon).

(in each hand).

And those Indian clubs loosen your shoulders and strengthen the tendons of the upper body beyond belief, my friend.

Trust me, if you want ape like power x 10 – or 100 – you’ll want to get on these routines.

That book is going to take a while to come out. For now, feast on the book on isometrics – – and the BEST book I’ve ever done most likely – Animal Kingdom Workouts.

And I’ll be back soon!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – Another great workout combo? Pushup Central, Jump Rope Mania! – – and that old favorite Advanced Hill Training! Jump on these NOW my friend. Truly worth their weight in GOLD is that info!

Just got this in my Inbox, and it’s so effing STUPID I had to share it.

Hiya @0excusesfitness !!

I trust you are having an awesome week!

I have been wanting to make contact with you since a while now. I discovered your Instagram profile the other day and thought you will be eligible for our Organic Growth Program for Potential Instagram Influencers (or OG-P2I as we refer to it). This program gives organic Instagram growth (through manual outreach) without any automation in the slightest degree.

As the maxim goes if a picture is worth 1000 words, a video is definitely worth a million. So in order to make it easier, we have created a video demonstration describing our service. I would thank you for your time if you could please watch it and see if that’s something that would help you.

Would you be interested in organic and manual Instagram growth? Please tell me and I’ll email you more info along with the video demo detailing our service model.

Your IG profile rocks. Continue to keep publishing great posts!

Thanks so much! Wishing loads of good vibes and buckets of good luck. 🙂

Best wishes,
Joseph

PS – Writing out this e-mail on my phone so please pardon if I’ve committed any typos. I have a fat thumb.

Clearly this jackass, and others that keep sending me this utter tripe didnt notice that (oh, Bozo Schofield never did notice it either – remember him? He’s gone completely silent as of late, hehe, after he realized he was fighting a WAR he could never and never WILL win – that guy, you know, Bozo Blow the Hockey Field Schofield . . . )

(or, he’s still got his nose up a cougar’s ass from last week. Ugh).

(Or standing forlornly with wang doodle in hand waiting for the welfare check that says “Glyn Schofield, bozo and troll el SUPREMO”).

Jahapanah, Tussi GREAT HO! 

(don’t worry. He’ll be doing the Tony Greig version of the above very soon, and by the way, Tony and Bozo? PLEASE! Tony was a great – a real great!

The bozo, well … )

Anyway . . .

. . . that jackass and multitudes of others – HORDES of others didnt notice that I done stopped using Instagram and all social media last year.

Much like the idiots that pester me for web development and ignore the fact that Mr. IT is sitting right here . . . and he’s been there, and done exactly what these IDIOTS are doing . . .

As for the rest of it, it sounds so DAMNED FAKE and put together that I cannot even begin to tell you.

Vives, I mean vibes my ass.

This is FAKE x 10000.

Oh, and as if the above was not enough, the following was in his email signature.

Please do not print this email unless it is necessary. Every unprinted email helps the environment. Go green, don’t print. Because it’s good for the environment!

Right down to the green hat color . . .

Print?

Dude, no way.

Not unless I wanted a ream or one “page” of toilet paper, which I thankfully don’t. 

And why I mentioned this, along with the other idiot wanting to “float stuff up to my INbox” in the hope I’d read and contact him back?

Because of his inane “fat thumb” ending which anyone with half a brain since dumbphones were invented knows is fake.

NO, Joseph won’t get any free publicity in terms of his company either, although I should term it as ONE TO AVOID.

But anyway, jackasses aside, quick note.

Remember that the 0 Excuses Fitness System is not just a book.

It’s TWO books – one free with the other.

And it’s FIVE videos plus an intro video.

Lots of my great customers that are old fashioned like I am – haven’t quite cottoned to the fact that along with the paperback book and e-book, videos are there too!

This, barring a few short other videos (curiously the Bozo didn troll those despite having seen ’em) are the only videos I’ve ever done for fitness.

“Other activities”?

“Rahul, you’re going to be an Indian porn star!” as the MAN, the African Silver back Gorilla MARC said!

Hehe.

He was more right than he knew.

But that aside, remember – these videos are worth their weight in gold, and many of my customers have made it a #1 priority to get ’em – and if you’ve already bought the book off Amazon or what not, or the paperback from ME – then remember – there is a videos only option too.

And that my friend is what I wanted to tell you.

I have now.

Bac k soon!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – And folks, as always, DO, please, DO leave reviews. Genuine ones! The emails that you get along with your downloads have a link you can click to do so. Remember, I dont want four or five or any star – just HONEST REVIEWS!

One of the worst feelings ever, I’m sure – – and especially for kids.

But anyway, from what I gather, one reason my daughter seems to be cranky today is this (and I dont know the entirety of this, obviously) – that her basketball teacher promised her some sort of some party for an upcoming festival in India, and then canceled it.

A festival I HATE – and am GLAD I’m not experiencing!

Holi.

To me, it’s always stood for hooliganism.

If you can imagine walking down the street ready to go to work, and being pelted with balloons and colors weeks before the damn festival begins, then you get some sort of an idea of the annoyance.

And especially to people who do NOT celebrate the festival.

Any other country, that sort of hooliganism would result in people getting shot, or worse.

In India, back in the day and even now most likely it’s condoned.

Ugh.

(though it’s gotten a lot better from what I hear, but it still happens).

I mean, I could never get where the fun comes in ruining other people’ days – people that dont celebrate the damned festival in the first place!

By all means pelt fellow revellers with color, balloons, and what not, but those that don’t want it – well … !

But anyway, thats another of those festivals like Diwali which in modern day India have been “extrapolated” into something they were never intended to be.

Diwali was never intended to pollute the entire country until Mars with the repeated BANG BANG of firecrackers made by slave labor first in China and then Southern India . . .

Neither was Holi intended to be hooliganism. A dab of color on the cheek yes, but nothing more than that!

Anyway, it’s all great fun for kids obviously.

And due to the plague … well!

Apparently her basketball teacher promised her and the other kids a party in that regard i.e. play ‘Holi’ during class. Nothing wrong with that – except a day later he canceled it.

I’ve seen this happen so often in Asia I cannot tell you the number of times.

Especially for things one KNOWS will never happen.

Obviously due to the plague these sort of things are banned, even in India where the law in most cases is followed “in the breach” as it were.

Yet, this guy, who I deeply admire for this teaching style told the kids one thing, then went back on his word.

Now, dont get me wrong.

I dont know what or if he said.

And I dont know if he was “forced” to take his words back. He’s not the sort of person that would disappoint!

But anyway, this brings to mind another thing – that being when you promise someone something – but that something takes ages to happen -maybe years – and the other person loses faith and claims “he never meant to do it”.

THAT is stupid too i.e. not realizing that sometimes, things don’t just happen “instantly”.

And its another of those goal setting lessons I’ve been trying to explain to my little one i.e. if you have a goal, do what it takes to get there.

“I dont want to do what it takes!”

“Then you’ll never get there, honey!”

Sad as it may sound, ADULTS are like this too – a lot.

People are lazy.

People dont want to DO what it takes to succeed at anything. Life, biz, fitness – NOBODY wants to put in the hard yards.

And PRACTICE.

Anyway, thats one thing – but what I want to tell you now is I dont make promises in the air, my friend.

On the Animal Kingdom Workouts page, for instance, you’ll see I say the course can do many things.

Two of them being a) put Viagara out of biz. b) You’ll truly join the ranks of the SUPERHUMANS by investing in this course and then DOING.

Many other things, but those two are the boldest claims.

And believe me, those of you with “little brother” issues or fitness issues – believe me, once you get on these routines – you’ll not just see, but FEEL how true my words are.

Same thing for all my other courses, and I could pimp them all day long, but I won’t.

This is a DIRECT pimp for Animal Kingdom Workouts.

Lots of you are trying to decide what book to buy NEXT. 

Well, THIS my friend for those that haven’t is the book!

And those that have – make sure to pick up our books on building dem SHOULDERS – like BOULDERS – NOW.

(Shoulders like BOULDERS!, Battletank SHOULDERS!)

Or, Pushup Central  or another ignored GEM – Advanced HIll Training.

And thats it from me.

Back soon!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – 20% discount ends very very soon. Jump now, my friend – remember, compilations at 20% OFF!

So, the ongoing saga on trying to persuade my daughter to whatever extent I can not to jump straight into the dumbphone upon waking up … CONTINUETH.

Every time I do this though, either on the phone or whichever way, I think of something.

How different was it back in “our day” when kids weren’t permitted to argue with their parents or even say what they WANTED in most cases.

Else – WHACK! And yelling galore …

Believe me, my oh my, how times have changed.

But anyway, the plague has wreaked havoc globally – as the CCP planned, of course.

The worst damage done by far is one we cannot see though and one that people are STARTING to wake up to – to young, impressionable kids to whom the LAST thing one should do is keep them cooped up without a ROUTINE!

And HABIT.

Anyway . . . Kiddie Fitness is one of things every kid should incorporate into their routine, but no, this email isn’t a direct or indirect pimp on that.

That brings to mind another thing I told my daughter the other day.

The “credit or no credit” routine.

And the “direct or indirect teaching” routine.

“Papa, you taught me handstands”, she’ll often say.

Yes, I did, I’ll reply. But You – DID IT!

But you taught me.

But you did it!

And it continues, until she says I DID IT!

Which is something important to learn.

Everyone learns from someone, either directly or indirectly, but the credit for DOING – and being persistent – goes to the PERSON. Not the “teacher”.

Thats something a lot of people forget.

Sure, you “give the teacher credit for teaching”.

Sure, you credit your sources.

But end of the day, your success – or FAILURE – is yours!

More important life lessons for your kids – and YOU as well.

Anyway, I got sidetracked yet again. Ugh!

Every time I sit down to WRITE … anyway, so the daughter.

I was telling her to read – write – draw – COLOR – draw her dreams – anything she wanted to BUT the damned dumbphone.

She wouldn’t, as usual.

“We need to make a habit”, I told her.

And then I explained the importance of proper habits and routines to her.

She didnt get it. She did, actually!

“You’re the most boring person in the world! You always work, work, work!”

It’s a battle these days, I’ll tell you that much! But it’s always been a battle as far as I can remember with this damned dumbphone.

Now sure, some may say “go back to the good ole days”.

Where kids had to toughen up no matter what.

But that sort of thing can irreperably RUIN one’s relationship with one’s parents. Believe me, I know how that goes – and while it may or may not have been how it was done back in the day – I’d rather take a different approach with my daughter.

And therefore I do.

Anyway, fitness.

What does this have to do with fitness, Rahul.

Well, simple, amigo.

You HAVE to make a fitness routine that you STICK to – come rain, hail, shine, or sun, or snow, or sleet, or tiredness, or the wife complaining, or the tea not tasting good, or being constipated, or hungover, or any number of excuses ADULTS make for not exercising.

That is one of the 10 Commandments of Physical (and Life) Success I lay out in The Rolls Royce of Fitness – and those 10 commandments are perhaps more important to learn and DO than the actual workouts and exercises themselves.

Making a ROUTINE – a daily routine you STICK to no matter what is KEY to success at anything, fitness included.

And lifewise, and indeed fitness wise, here is what you should do.

Reserve the first two hours, or right after waking up for you.

EVERYTHING else can wait.

It could be just fifteen minutes, or half an hour.

But reserve it for you – your thoughts – your workouts – whatever matters!

And believe me, you’ll be nigh SHOCKED at how things start to flow in your life.

For me, much as you might think otherwise, I dont work out “first thing” after waking up.

I did back in the day during those 5 AM hill climbs, but even then, thinking time was always there, if just for a few minutes.

And it was after that I did what I had to.

Now, I work on my businesses for at least two hours before anything else …

This may or may not be what you do – but you get the point!

Anyway, fitness wise, remember that getting the heart pumping is one of the best things you can for yourself after waking up – or anytime during the day, and I’ve structured the Royce so that you can get in a workout truly anyplace, anytime, anywhere!

This truly IS a fitness System EVERYONE MUST HAVE – NOW!

Jump on the train NOW.

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – 20% DISCOUNT on compilations will end this week – hurry while the going is good.

PS #2 – Also, make sure to pick up Animal Kingdom Workouts if you have not already. Truly one of my BEST EVER!

In the last e-mail, I wrote to you guys about pulling off the highway when I shouldn’t – wrong Exit, I believe and I dont know if the hanky panky in the car had anything to do with it, hehe.

(Nah – not really. That was up there in NY!).

But what I did NOT tell you is this …

… is that this hombre (and I was rather fat back then with all the chicken wings I stuffed down my gourd, and the beer I regularly drank) had a “lily white” lovely white gal next to me.

My girlfriend at the time, of course … and we were in one of those tiny “Enterprise Rent a Cars”.

I think it was an economy car, or maybe it was the time we got upgraded to a wobbly SUV for free (that damn thing had a picture of  a car literally wobbling on two wheels on the windshield visors, as if to say – BE CAREFUL WHEN DRIVING THIS THING!).

That’s another story though, hehe. And another time I believe …

But anyway, this time?

I dont know, maybe we were on our way back from a vacation in Maine (waters so cold that it damn near froze your toes if you even dipped them into the ocean) . . . and we took the wrong Exit.

And before we knew it?

Grim neighborhood.

Buildings in a state of decay.

And beefy brothers all around us, staring at us suspiciously.

Now, I could give a rats ass – or two figs less about any of this.

I’ve been in a ton of hairy situations in the past, and weapon or not, I’m pretty confident in my own abilities to get the heck out of Dodge, but NOT with women around me that are “skittish”. Hehe.

Anyway, you get my drift!

Luckily within a few minutes she found a convenience store, jumped out, and the old black dude there pointed us to the right Exit.

Off we went, and the beefcakes staring at us in “gym vests” were every bit as big and menacing as those you see in Training Day when Alonzo steals “Queen Latifa’s” cash and makes off with it!

Thankfully no guns popped, hehe.

But it’s interesting.

I’ve been around big dudes all my life.

Big, imposing people . . .

And without exception, the one exercise most of them – especially the bros at the gym, and those in the hood CAN DO – and cannot do?

Can – the idiotic bench press.

CANNOT?

The eternal and mighty handstand pushup!

If you look at the REAL strongmen of yore – the REAL BEEFCAKES?

Lets face it, Doug Hepburn and Burt Asserati put together would make five men envious with their shoulder spread!

The REAL beef cakes, my friend did HANDSTAND pushups! 

And lots and lots of them!

And if that ain’t lesson enough for you – the real STUDS?

Iron Mike Tyson?

Herschel Walker?

Walter Peyton?

Any of the others?

No, for the Bozos claiming “it’s all good genetics”, it was anything BUT (much like with yours truly).

And they didnt even do the handstand pushup for high reps – they did them yes, but not high rep training!

What DID they do you ask?

PUSHUPS – FLOOR PUSHUPS – and pull-ups!

And they did EXPONENTIALLY way more pushups than pull-ups. 

Walker pounded out 3000 or so daily in his prime, and around a 1000 pull-ups.

In the Army, Marines, Special forces, they pride themselves on their pull-up ability.

Yet, what exercise do they do all the time to get ’em there!

If you thought “drop and give me 20!” you’d be right.

Iron Mike – 50 sets of 50 pushups daily! WHEW! And elbows in!

Too easy? Too simple?

Damn right?

But can you, the Bozo (I’m referring to those that claim it’s too easy) that claims its “too easy” DO IT?

That, my friend is the million dollar question and the detail that will turn you from an ordinary “mortal” to “BARNSTOMER” once you figure it out!

I’ve guided you – shown you the way.

Now, the rest is up to you.

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – And remember, we still have the 20 % discount going on COMPILATIONS. Jump on this now before I pull it, my friend. Truly a “once in a lifetime” offer this.