Google – how would you support customers – pre”dumbphone” era?
- OPEN QUESTION!

God (dess)!

The support I’ve been receiving from a certain “Nisha” from Google on a certain issue you’d think is so simple a third grader could either fix or click “escalate” has been … ABSYMAL!

And given Google’s lack of response to Twitter comments or anything, it doesn’t seem they care a whole hell of a lot.

But really, the issue you ask?

I mean, it’s SO simple – I’m trying to change the business location on one of their service, and it won’t let me do that – when I click the “marker” or whatever they call it, it pops up a dialog saying “create a new location”, but it never lets me create it or points me to WHERE and how I could create it.

Thats it.

Simple.

Pithy.

To thepoint.

You’d think Google would get back with either “it’s fixed” or – “ok, we’ll add it in for you”, I’d say thank you! and that would be that?

Nothing doing, friend.

First off, they sent those long copy and paste emails where you can just tell they’ve copied and pasted the top and bottom of the email from a standard template – and put some hurried hasty lines in the middle.

I’m just an email away!” trilled their customer service rep as if to rub it in further and annoy me even more when I politely requested her to FIX the issue.

She even put quotes as if to say, look, Sir, I didnt plagiarize!

(I once got a F in a class for so called plagiarism, but I suspect that was me more heckling the teacher – he was a loon and an old codger – about “which plane brought him from the UK to the US”. Dont ask. All great fun, hehe).

Does that sort of thing in customer service, where service is more like a BOT annoy the ever licking heck, Bejesus, Jehovah, or what not out of you ?

I can hear the libs mourning about “be nice to them! They’ve got a job to do!”

so they do.

And they’re not doing it!

The last thing a customer wants to be told is to create videos – repeatedly – for something so simple.

I told them point and click doesnt work – theyd ont believe me.

I’ve explained in writing why and how it does not work. Not enough for Google.

And they keep telling me to do the ONE Thing I hate – take videos of the entire process!!

Not to mention, dumbphone videos take a lot of space, so Gmail won’t let me send it directly. It has to edited and cropped!

For the 0 Excuses Fitness System, sure – I did that – because most of YOU (NOT ALL, but most) are as dumbphone addicted as the next person, and hey – if thats you thats fine.

I ain’t out to change you, but I WILL tell you, one reason for thy brain turning into utter mush – dumbphones – and imagination killing vEEEDDEEOOOSSSS

I’m SICK OF IT.

Everytime you ask someone something, they wont tell you!

Watch the video!

You tube it!

I mean, Jesus Christ, what happened to typing it out – or saying it yourself as opposed to a 20 minute lengthy video I dont want to waste time and energy on, and lets face it, unlike the 0 Excuses Fitness videos where I get STRAIGHT TO THE POINT – NO FRILLS – most of these videos are shallow self promotion BS pieces, and MAYBE they’ll answer something at the end of it.

Maybe.

Most of them just treat you to inane conversation the sheeple love, and yours truly impatiently keeps clicking the “forward” button to get to the meat of the matter and be done with it.

Pathetic

I wonder how people did biz pre dumbphones?????? Pre “Everything is a veeeeeedeeeeeeeeeeeoooo” kinda mushy thinking?

SAD!

Yours truly, of course, hates videos.

I dont watch ’em – unles sit’s Trump videos, where it’s worth it for the free education.

No, I’m not going to tell you why. Some things – the best – aren’t free.

(actually, they are. I’ve told you many times, and its there out in the open if you think or search!)

But they have this long ass thread going on on LinkedIn about how a lot of people feel the same way I do about videos – and long ass sales letters, which curiously enough I feel the opposite about.

I’ve got ’em all over the site for my products.

My blog posts and emails, the experts say, “should be no more than 500 words”.

They’re usually 1000 plus on a short day.

This one is 650 plus already.

And I’d say people – those truly interested in what you’re offering – LOVE long form text. Not to mention, if it’s a high ticket product, people WANT to read – more – and more – and more – and they WANT to be convinced.

There is a reason, my friend, long form sales letters just flat out work and always have.

OF course, with mushy brain syndrome, I know not for how long, but there’ll always be, I suspect, contrarians like yours truly – video haters and sheeple “run away from’ers” … and they’ll still prefer long form TEXT.

It’s far easier and quicker to read text than watch some idiotic, inane, boring video.

It’s far quicker to type your thoughts than say it on an audio note which are all the rage these days.

Of course, both these things require good communiction skills, and a functional BRAIN – a quick one at that.

Most out there don’t have either. Therefore, the alternatives, and back to customer service – Google and Amazon used to be the two companies that were pretty good at it overall.

Google even lets you send them tomes – I HATE it when banks (one I’m dealing with) for instance, have a “500 character” limit on the contact me form, they dont let you email them directly, so you have to go to their site rather than click “reply” – I mean, Jeez.

Why is customer service in everything becoming the exact opposite i.e. service = drive the customer away?

Maybe thats what they want!

Jeff once made the comment about “if you need customer service it means we(Amazon) ain’t doing something right”.

He was right as always.

And the last thing an irate customer, or anyone wanting SUPPORT wants to be told is idiotic long copy and paste garbage and “to create videos” or else. To be honest, this is the first time I’ve experienced this.

From Google no less.

After I called them good for keeping things simple in the last email (Actually, over the past few days).

I realize you might not think it’s a big deal.

Some of you may even like it.

I Dont though. Beats the very point of me contacting them in the first place!

I can understand Amazon wanting me to send pictures of defective products. THAT, I get and agree with and do pronto.

But MIss, Madam, or Lady Nisha, I’m sorry, but the so called service you’ve provided me on this one is nigh pathetic.

Doubt Google cares much about me writing this. We’ll see!

And no, I’m not the sort to stay quiet “just because”.

In 2004, or 2005 was it? I had an annoying issue with Hong Kong immigration where the officers forgot to stamp the second stamp on my passport.

Right now, going to HK – you get a landing slip (most of us) – they print it, and give it to you. Tiny little slip.

If it’s lost, no biggie – they have the info in their systems. You can always apply for a new one in case you needed it too.

But back in the day, and I’ve got a passport FULL And choc a block of these, the HK immigration would stamp you – FOUR times .

First, a regular stamp, then a two in one combo showing date and time of entry, and how long you’re permitted to stay visa free (most people can enter HK visa free).

And when you exit, another stamp.

Some fine chap forgot part #1 or #2, and for a while, a long time, every time I used that passport to enter?

They’d detain me because it popped up on their systems as suspicious.

That first time I exited when he forgot it, I asked Immigration to fix the problem.

Lady up and told me “We can’t fix it!

I’m like, OK – well, I shouldnt be penalized for YOUR mistake.

“We can’t help it!”

I almost threw a hissy.

I told her, but this is not my fault.

In typical Nazi feminist manner, she was having none of it.

In typical Rahul Mookerjee manner, I walked off in a huff. I remember her glare, clearly saying “I wish I could do something to this SOB”.

No lady, you can’t either. It was YOUR FAULT, there is no reason I should have to go through the hassle I did before!

Anyway, all resolved once I got a new passport.

For teh most part…

But really, I was told “dont complain! Your money is in HK!” (back then it was).

I did anyway.

And so Google, I WILL point out what you’re doing wrong, and do so until the cows come home – never been one to be silenced in any way, shape or form. I mean, really.

What would you have done in the pre-dumbphone era, Google, I only ask, because, you know … point and click has been around like forever, before I was 25 I believe…

Pathetic, again!

OK, so there’s SOME cases in which videos are warranted.

Hence the workout videos I created.

Following along with your favorite fitness so called Guru” seems to be the new thing now, either from home or quarantine.

Except, yours truly pioneering created a workout video long, long, long before any of us thought about the plague from China.

Which you CAN work out with me on it – you might not be able to keep up when you first start.

But work at it, and you will!

Anyway, this customer service thing.

Another reason why I use Amazon for damn near everything, including business related issues…

A secret here to give away, especially in terms of sales (no, not just selling on Amazon) that I wont give away here, if just for the whining posts I’m seeing about “we hate long form sales letters! Just tell us the price already!”

Well, I wont.

Hehe.

And if that makes you click away, all the more better. Will save my banged up  (not, hehe, but those that are, you KNOW!) fingers some hassle.

Back soon!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee