Why I’d choose TRAP massage over HOT STEAMY sex, and why its the next best thing to a nice COLD STELLA ARTOIS
- I BE drinking one, now.

John Walker said many great things, my brother, but calling me the “Stella Artois of Fitness” (that is what he said – I shortered it to this) was the best by far!

He said “I’m a true Master at my craft, and if someone wants to learn from me, they gotta foot the tab, much like you gotta pay if you want quality beer”, so I just shortened it to this.

Easier to type, and equally true and one and the same thing, but as that cold beer washes down my throat at 3:33 PM I might just change my mind on Corona being the best beer out there!

There’s something about a STELLA in a GREEN BOTTLE!

Especially ice cold (I know, certain beers like Guiness are best enjoyed somewhat warm) …

This ain’t about my hedonistic lifestyle and beer tho brah.

This is about … TRAPS!

Believe me, that is an area most people store more stress than theyd like.

And if you get a real massage – be sure to ask her (or him, if you’re Schofield) to focus on the TRAPS!

The Bozo goes to massages or wants to, when he has the green (or red in China) stuff (which isnt often, but he manages to finangle it out of some of the women he dupes, I’ll give him that!) … but he goes there for wanker massages.

Yours truly?

Yours truly doesnt get there either for wanker massages or FOOT massages. I’ve never quite understood the fascination folks have with the latter, by the way.

Maybe their feet hurt, I don’t know.

But Mr Ironman says even after years of working out – everything can hurt – but the feet never do.

At least for me.

I really think it’s more about the “domination” thing ALL of us want to do deep down inside.

For me, I could care less about my feet getting massaged, even at foot massage places I Go to so often.

I’m all about upper body, legs, and traps, and SQUEALING like a baby when those lovely Chinese massuesses KNEAD, POUND and kick (literally!) and STOMP (yes!) the tension out of me.

Especially the traps.

Nothing like having somone WALK ON YOUR BACK EITHER!

Feet?

I dont know, feels good, but nothing compared to the other parts (for me).

But anyway, YOU don’t need to be in China to get this done.

For traps, you dont even need to “undress” or what not.

Just ask your angry SO or spouse to do it, hehe.

IF she’s pissed you didnt take the dishes out of the dishwasher, tell her to “take the stress out” by giving you a good pummeling. Hehe.

You’ll love it!!

Massage, my friend is one of the keys to recovery and there’s a reason an entire Chapter is devoted to it on 0 Excuses Fitness (no hanky panky tho, sorry).

(there are other books I’ve written on hanky panky that would make porn stars blush but fitness – is fitness. No girls!

(or boys, if you’re the Bozo reading this). )

But anyway ..

The next best thing to a trap massage is STRETCHING the traps.

Not sex, sorry. Not for me. Hehe.

(Remember the review the Bozo once left about “Rahul doesnt have a sex life”, and he does. Poor guy … LOL. That too on a book about a super stud – yours truly – doing pull-ups and (as the Bozo himself said) “swattign away women like flies” that came near – because to me – my workout time is SACROSANCT!! Exercise = = Exercise!).

But anyway, Bozos aside, STRETCHING – and especially the upper back and HAMMIES is where its at.

Oh MY.

I just did a stretching routine straight out of Isometric and Flexbility Training and I Feel like I’m in the Bahamas getting massaged by two or more women with several beers at hand and NO HANKY PANKY.

I’m not, of course.

I’m sitting here WRITING This to you.

But that sort of relaxed feeling is beyond compare …

And to get that sort of vibe, feeling, and your life FLOWING – go here.

Do so NOW!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

PS – For hard workouts, grab Pushup Central right HERE.