The Didi driver that slapped himself silly
- Really!

What I’m going to say right now will come across as even more outrageous than some of the other stuff I’ve mentioned before, but it’s true.

Hang tight, and let me “plunge right into it”!

So, one fine afternoon I had an appointment to keep.

At around 230 sharp (or no, it was 315 I believe) I was supposed to be “somewhere”.

And for those that know me, if you’d put the words “Villas” and “Royal” together, you get the drift.

Most won’t, but that’s OK! 😉

Anyway, being I don’t have a car in China I took the local version of Uber “Didi” there.

Hailed a Didi, in other words.

Didi for what it’s worth is backed by the CCP, much like any other big Chinese company is, and although Uber was thriving in China years ago, Didi managed to strong arm it out (literally) until it remained the ‘only game’ in town so to speak.

And that’s yet another reason I advise people against doing any real biz in China.

Anytime you get too big, or close to it, guess what.

The Chinese Communist Party will take you over in some way, shape or form, and if you don’t believe me, just looked at how Jack Ma, supposedly one of their own (he’s supposed to have CCP ties) was pushed out of his leadership role at Alipay recently (payment giant in China).

Sure, they claim he retired of his own accord.

Yeah. Right.

Anyway, for those that don’t know the story there, feel free to research and you’ll see what I mean. And in the meantime, it’s back to my story.

(Oh, and make sure to read Mark Kitto’s piece on “Why you’ll never be Chinese” written ages ago. IF you’re interested for more on the topic above, that is! And no, I don’t get nothing for mentioning Kitto here; it’s just a thoughtful and REALISTIC piece that I believe SHOULD be read if you’re interested in China and how the Chinese operate in general).

Anyway, the driver followed the GPS on the way to where I was going, which given the general standard of Didi drivers who somehow never ever manage to “learn to follow GPS correctly” (even though it’s so simple a third grader could do it) and those that think “they don’t need to”, was itself a pleasant surprise.

Until . . .

I noticed the fare going up, up and UP.

It would have normally cost me 35 RMB one way to get to where I was.

Fare was already at 80. No traffic. And as I noticed the dude, and actually paid attention to what he was doing (I was too busy until then writing something on the dumbphone) I noticed something shocking.

Guy was just going round and round in circles and was apparently blithely unaware of it.

Unwaware that the GPS had thrown a fault, or his phone had, and that he had to actually use his BRAIN . . .

We were very near the destination, and yet he kept exiting the highway, and climbing back on it!

And I pointed it out as best as I could, given my limited command of Mandarin.

Now lest you think faulty GPS happens only in china, think again.

It can happen anywhere. I once had GPS in the US tell me to drive off a mountain ; quite literally! Apparently the road wasn’t there when the GPS co-ordinates were taken or something . . .

But what was strange was the guy’s reaction.

As the bill piled up to around a 100 RMB, he steadfastly REFUSED to go the way I was telling him to.

Kept going round and round in circles, and as it degenerated into a yelling contest, he got more and more flustered.

133 RMB.

He stopped.

Right smack in the middle of the road.

And . . . started WHACKING  his face. Slapping it. Literally!

It was like he was being slapped and punished by no-one other than himself, and to see a grown and ostensibly sane man do this in the middle of the road while on driving duty was unnerving to say the least.

After about a 100 or a slaps, he made a call.

I think to the local traffic police from what I understand, and he started complaining about the “rude foreigner”.

Traffic police asked him what was up.

He explained.

Needless to say, even in China, that sort of thing isn’t tolerated and they told him to shape up or ship out.

He did neither.

I walked out of the car, and got another cab, and finally made it to my destination, over 45 minutes late.

Whew!

And I bring this up . .. why?

Well, because I’ve seen Chinese ladies do the exact same thing plenty of times, except for a different reason apparently.

Many times, you’ll see Chinese ladies slap their faces (and butts) upon waking up (and no, this ain’t sexist or whatever) to not just “wake themselves up” but apparently to get the energy flowing.

And they’re not taps.

They’re loud whacks!

Something to do with meridians and the flow of qi (vital energy in your body). Or something to that effect, and there might just be something to it . . .

Anyway, qi or no qi, tai, or no chi, I have THIS to say.

If you’re looking to get the energy flowing at any time of the day, not just when you wake up, I’ve got jus the thing for you.

It ain’t a cup of Joe either.

No, Joe.

It’s learning how to move about and WALK about – or run – or squat – like an animal.

OR a menagerie of them at that.

You never see a tiger complain about walking too much the day before in search for food and being so tired that he “rests his paws” for the day doing nothing at all except snooze, do you?

Domestic dogs run sprints all the time, but we don’t see them take the next two days “off”, do we?

A grizzly doesn’t complain about being too tired after walking up hills daily, does he?

HA.

I didn’t think so, my friend.

Man, to b e honest is the only animal on planet Earth that complains about being routinely tired and feeling like (and being) an utter SLOB at times.

And downright lazy too, and a lot of it is related to energy flow.

Get your energy flow moving the right way. The way Mother Nature intended, and a lot of these problems will fly straight out of the window.

And that’s why I put out Animal Kingdom Workouts, my friends.

An advanced course with not just one, not two, ten, or fifity, but SIXTY EIGHT different ways to move your body like an animal that will start burning fat almost instantly, building MUSCLE – and getting you feeling great all simultaneously.

Sounds too good to be true doesn’t it ?

Especially when we consider the time frames involved.

A workout can be as short as a few seconds on this to kick your ass.

Or, as “long” as ten minutes before you really can’t do any more! Or go any longer! 😉

Anyway, check it out for yourself right here my friend.

And get on some of the workouts in it.

And don’t worry. No slapping involved, hehe. Just good ole pure EXERCISE – solid exercise at that – stuff that will get your ass in shape – and fast!

I look forward to hearing of your progress.

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

P.S. – – Along with that, don’t forget to pick up Advanced Hill Training ; the DEFINITIVE book on various types of sprints if there ever was one! 😉

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